Connect like a human

Video calls can be exhausting.

Firstly there’s the intensity of sitting still for hours on end.

And then trying to second guess how your colleagues have responded to your ideas. "I can’t pick up any facial movements, are they absorbed, are they planning their dinner or has their screen frozen?"

55% of body language is non verbal & found in gestures or expressions, so it’s no surprise that video calls can feel a little disconnected. 

There are the team meetings, the planning meetings, the updates, the check-ins. Who has capacity for YET another video call just to say hello? 

It’s no surprise that some of us struggle in building human connections with our colleagues.

But human contact is the glue that helps build empathy, consideration & new perspectives. Put another way, it’s the soft stuff that makes the difference in whether people are motivated to support each other. The respect & understanding that allows them to challenge in a positive & helpful way.

But it's not easy. Perhaps we need to get creative with how we connect. Lean into the little things that make us unique. Show a little character & make it safe for others to do the same.

We can’t always meet in person. But we can always make it more human.

5 THINGS TO TRY:

These 5 tips are simple, easy to action & will help to add a bit of spark into your day. Discover new ways to build connection when you're remote!

1. Seek out different experience & perspectives. 

   
   

It can be tough casually asking for a perspective when you haven't met someone, but this is a great way to raise your profile & build a new connection whilst learning from others' experiences.

When you’re remote you can more easily jump through the walls & hierarchical structures that create barriers in a physical office. Reverse mentoring can be a huge win for all (both junior & senior) so ask opinions & don’t be afraid to offer suggestions.

If you’re not sure about contacting someone directly, maybe ask a colleague to help with an intro or try setting up a coffee roulette to help with random selection. If setting this up across a team, make sure this is inclusive & accessible for all.

Magic happens when you bring together different teams, skills, seniority, age or backgrounds. 

2. Build mutual understanding.

Remote tech allows us to complete most desk-based tasks remotely but it can all fall down if there’s a lack of human connection. 

A 121 can help to build understanding or opportunities that last far beyond the current project.

Would you welcome someone’s perspective on how to approach a deliverable? A tricky client? Your career path? A flexible work request?

And would you benefit from understanding where they’re headed? Do you know what problems they're trying to solve? 

Ask open questions & give permission to share the human stuff. What are they passionate about changing? What does their world look like away from their desk? What other demands is life throwing at them?

3. Take it outside. 

Therapists & counsellors often speak highly about side-by-side conversations, the ones where you’re outside & moving. It can certainly feel less intense than staring at each other’s face in yet another video call. It somehow allows space for the pauses & also some creativity of expression. 

So why not shut the laptop, stick in your earphones & chat whilst (remotely) taking a walk together? You can keep it useful whilst getting in some movement, some natural light & letting them into your world a little.

4. Exchange generously. 

Can you use the call to discover something new & celebrate your differences? 

Is there a skill you can swap, maybe some front of house customer experience for some back office ops knowledge? 

And don’t skip on the recipes, stories, books & podcasts that make us who we are. It’s one of the joys of working remotely is the chance to explore & discover people & places & ways of living that may not be on your doorstep.

Give generously & don’t be afraid to ask. 

5. Put the kettle on.

Who else has been on a group video call only to receive an immediate message suggesting another call for a debrief? If it’s a 121, we’d again recommend sticking in the earphones & stepping away from the screen if possible. 

If you’re familiar with your colleague you might be happy to invite the video call to wherever your kettle lives. Remote breaks matter & your colleague may thank you for the change in setting & call energy. But word of caution – stay present & respectful. No stacking of dishwashers please! 

This is time to breathe. To blink, reflect & process. And is there anything more human than making a cup of tea together?